As I got older and my interests began to shift from physical endeavors more toward emotional endeavors, these lessons of how to fall safely seemed to become less and less relevant to my life. This is where I was wrong. I eventually realized that being able to fall in a way that minimizes pain is not a skill that should be relegated solely to athletes. Anyone with a heart and the ability to fall in love should be given similar guidance. So, here's my advice to those of you who are looking for ways to tuck, soften, and protect your heart for falling safely in love.
I always thought that falling in love was big…all about the big feeling, the big attraction, big chemistry, everything big. I stumbled through decades of life vigilantly looking for the big moment of falling. I was waiting for the giant crash of two worlds colliding. I believe I found it on two occasions. I found a couple of girls who knocked me to my knees instantly and, as I reeled from the painful pleasure, I knew I had found love. At least until they each found someone more to their liking. Both occasions of my big love ended in my experiencing the ultimate betrayal by the object of my undying affection. My big loves both ended in even bigger heartbreak. After the second time, I became jaded and extremely averted to love of any sort…big or otherwise. I gave up hope for love and opted to keep my eyes lowered so as not to notice any possible collisions. I chose to protect my heart over experiencing the joy of love. It seemed like a very good choice at the time. Again, this is where I was wrong.
One day, while diligently keeping my fragile heart safe, I realized that love is not big. Love is in the details. Love is not the beauty that catches your attention from across a crowded room. Love is not the enormous personality that draws your attention into her immediately. Love is not the incredible talent that touches the depths of your soul. Love is simply in the details. Love is being drawn to her hands as she is gesturing, and noticing the slight curl of her delicate fingers as she raises her hands. Love is the way she closes her eyes to half-mast and puckers her lips seductively as she drinks from a bottle. Love is the tilt of her head as she gives you her complete attention. It was a long time coming, but I finally recognized that love is big, but it doesn't have to start that way. It is big because it is the sum of all the tiny, lovely parts. I finally learned that love is not just a moment of chemical combustion. Rather, love is a widening wonderland full of amazing detail. Approach it as such, and perhaps you can survive it without need of a helmet.